Monday, September 7 (originally posted by Mary to the Hawksbill Cabin blog)
After our visit to the vet last Thursday, Gracie seemed to perk up a bit, finding a tennis ball under a table in the sun room and bringing it to me for some play. Months ago, we modified the game to one where she lays down and I roll the ball to her, which she then traps between her front legs and bites soundly to stop.
She seems so happy during these moments, recalling perhaps the more rigorous games of fetch we played in her younger days up on the hill at the Masonic Temple here in Alexandria, or, later, the “stairmaster” game when she would stand or lay at the top of the stairs and I would toss the ball up to her, which she would catch, then roll back down the steps to me to start the game all over again. However, this burst of energy and interest is short-lived and she grows weaker.
We are out at the cabin in the Shenandoah for the Labor Day weekend. On Saturday, she had enough strength to walk with Jim around the house, sniffing and enjoying being with him as she explored some of her favorite bushes and trees. During the night from Sunday to Monday, Gracie woke me up and I took her outside to pee. She sniffs in the dark for awhile then returns to me but has a difficult time walking over the black drain pipe leading from the downspout that crosses the back path. I also help her up the step to the side porch and into the house. She wags her tail as I pat her now boney back.
As I clean up the kitchen this morning, Jim has Gracie outside and later tries to give her the semi-weekly dose of calcitriol. She is suddenly drastically weaker and can no longer lift her head and can’t seem to swallow. She can no longer stand-up. We’re not sure if she’s had a stroke or not. She’s conscious and continent but we realize that the time has come to end Gracie’s fight against the disease that has taken her strength and dignity.
We return to Alexandria and take Gracie to the vet, which we have called ahead of time. Jim carries our girl into a pleasant green-painted room with some comfortable chairs and plants and an examination table covered with towels.
After a brief consultation, the vet agrees that to continue Gracie’s life in this way would be cruel and we begin the process that we have been dreading for so long. We have a chance to hold and kiss her before they administer the sedative and she is unconscious when the last medication is given. She leaves us quickly and peacefully, a gentle, loving companion to the end. She was three months short of her 15th birthday.
I’m glad, in a way, that I found your blog. Our fantastic little girl, Molly, a working cocker spaniel is in final stages of chronic renal failure. Many of the things you say are just like us. We live in Scotland and took Molly and her sister Tess to go for walks and plays on the beaches they love as we lived at the coast for 10 years. It was bittersweet but we are glad we did it as we now have those memories. I took Molly to the vet on Monday (now Thursday) when her creatinine level was 6.38. She is very poorly but does seem to perk up once she has been given sub-q fluids. She still drinks a little on her own but Carol, my wife, has been feeding Molly by pipette as we ran out of things to tempt her. It is very hard emotionally and we relate totally to your experience. We have yet to make the hardest of decisions but know we will have to soon. The decision has been made – it’s just knowing when is the right time. Many thanks for having the courage to set up this blog – I hope it helps others.
I am sitting hear at 12:38 in the AM with my dog who is dying from renal failure do to Lasiks that she must take for congestive heart failure. I know I must let her vet of ten years end her life soon. She has lived a happy life with us and us with hert.
Thank you for your blog…..somehow it is easier to let her go realizing that others have had to do this before us.
Thanks for your comment Diane. It is a painful thing, and I’m sorry for what you and your dog have gone through. It helped Mary and me to remember all the great moments we had with Gracie, and then there was the knowledge we’d done everything we could to help her through this. It’s quite a relationship we have with them, they’ll always be a part of us.
I am glad I found your blog too. We are going through the same with our super mutt Roxy. The creatinine levels are off the chart. The vet is amazed she is still alive but things are going badly. The sub-q are not helping, she is having difficulty standing up, not eating and soiling herself/not been able to keep her food. She is pure bones! Is she suffering? I am talking with my husband while reading the web about what we should do next and Roxy looks at us and seems to understand, then walks the best she has all day… like she knows. Not easy. We love her so much. Thank you for the blog and others who commented.
Carmela,
Thanks for your post. I know that moment is hard going when you are going through it. And I love to hear how our brave little friends seem to rally from our care. When we were making our decisions about Gracie, one of the neighbors reminded us that, “Well, the dogs need us to be the adults for them.” All of those good things are involved, the care and responsibility, especially. You’re going to do the right thing for Roxy. And thanks again for the comment.
Best,
Jim